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monica

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so, hi! this is monica, and i'm picking up a second dude! this is abed. he's a pop culture nerd doing film studies at greendale community college, where he is part of the best! spanish! study group! ever! or something like that. he is mostly here to be mildly socially awkward at everyone and compare everything with movies.

also he is prone to breaking the fourth wall, so hooray!! so many exclamation marks.

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BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL, YOU SAY

SOCIALLY AWKWARD, YOU SAY.

is this going to be a problem.

no! it is so not a problem that Sheldon may give you a copy of his Friendship Manual.

EXCELLENT. sheldon i hope you like froot loops.

...froot loops have an extremely low fiber content.

no college diet is complete without them.

oh...

you're still in college...

friendship status: pending.

well, i'm not sure if i wanna be friends with someone who looks down on froot loops anyway.

less than one gram per serving! i look down on froot loops only to mimic the disrespect they choose to show my colon.

i would really like to not talk abour your colon!!

then why would you even bring up breakfast cereals?

most people don't segue from breakfast cereals to the woes of their colons.

because most people have an inadequate understanding of how their digestive system works and are going to succumb early in life to chronically elevated liver enzyme systems.

do you know, you kind of sound like that bones girl on tv? i've caught a few episodes here and there, and wow--you really. do.

while i do appreciate temperance brennan's work in the science of forensic anthropology, i sincerely doubt she is in any universe my intellectual equal.

so you're smarter than bones? or is she smarter than you? 'cause she's pretty smart.

please, i'd need to drop fifty iq points to feel threatened by that wannabe nikki alexander.

so you're a genius. i've never met anyone who's a genius. community college, you know how it goes.

no, i really don't.

but i'm sure if you ask penny she'll have a vague idea!

i don't really need to ask anyone. i mean, i know how it goes. have you ever watched anything where people go to community college? i mean usually it's all ohh university!! but no one's exploited that niche yet, as far as i know.

why on earth would i want to watch anything set in a community college? i doubt i would even desire to watch star trek if it was set in a community college.

man, people like weird things. seriously, like apparently punchkicker 3: revenge of the kick-punch was an underground success even though it's totally the cheesiest thing ever. watching a show about community college doesn't seem like such a stretch when you think about it like that.